Have you ever had one of those days? I mean you really can't explain how you feel the way you feel or why you feel the way you feel. Does anyone know what I mean? It all started this morning just getting out of bed. You want the morning to take its time and allow you to take your time. Do the things you need to do in order to survive the upcoming day. Drink a cup of coffee, nice and slow. Talk to the Lord. Read the Word and meditate upon it. Ha! Not a chance.
After talking with two of my daughters (yes, Scott and I do have a family of our own) I could tell the world had hit them hard today also. Whitney was sweating over the possibility that one of the classes she needed to graduate this semester was full and her advisor had messed things up for her. She was also sweating the fact that this was her last semester and beginning in May she and her husband and son would be leaving college life behind to live the new "we are all grown up" and "have to get real jobs and pay real rent" life. Kendra was moving yet again. She and her husband have had the hardest time deciding where they want to live. So once again they are spending their "day off" packing, lifting and moving. They stopped by the mission tired and frustrated and I knew she was not having a good day. Why do some days just come at us so hard? As for me, I could not give you a real explanation to why I was having my "no good rotten, I guess I'll go eat worms" day. I just was.
The mission had its typical ups and downs. Tanya spent the day inventorying all our movies and most of the books in the library. That was a real blessing. She told me yesterday when I blogged to make sure I stated that without her I could not make it and that she just made my day and that she was the best thing that ever happened to us. Yesterday maybe not so true. After all she did today, YES! I am so glad that I actually know where a book goes and if a movie is missing and who has it. I wanted to do this, but I did not have the time. A big shout out to Tanya. THANKS
You would think all that would make me feel great, BUT, it has been a real hard day. It has been one of those days you question your call from the Lord. You begin to wonder if pouring your heart and life out to these women really matters? You are just tired of sharing your life and home with others. The women who end up here are very hurt and have built a huge wall of defense around them. This is how they survive. Many of them come here from years of drug addiction, abuse, neglect and rejection. Have you ever started your day with someone who not only stopped using their drug of choice but have also stopped smoking cold turkey? Not a pretty sight! By the way, I do believe smoking is just as serious of an addiction as any other drug out there. Add to that a daily schedule. When you have spent years chasing a drug or running from life a schedule is not something you are familiar with. That means cooking, cleaning, attending classes and groups. All the things they avoided in their past life. It is not an easy assignment. If not for the strength of the Lord, I could not do this. I have to remember to bear the fruit of the spirit(love, joy, faith, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, meekness and self control). That is a tough list when everything is coming at you all at once. That is an impossible list without the Lord! I know you would say I am just complaining but that's okay. I am just "letting go and letting God". Life's troubles are not always solved with a bubble bath but if they where I would be shouting, "Calgon Take me away!" so instead I blog.......................